In a world where we acknowledge “shit happens” I choose to mentor greatness one baby step at a time moving forward “Tunnel Vision Approach”. Vow to live with immense purpose, awaken your inner passion, leaving pain in the past, accept those individuals who treat us with respect, fairness, and dignity, allowing us to stand tall and strong from within. Love ourself deeply and truly. A passionate pursuit of happiness from within must be focused strong as a laser-like guiding light, demanding a clear vision that never ever ends! Feel your innate right to everything with single minded focus….
Acknowledge a life without violence, or horror or a abuse. No poor me, no pity party. Long after the first bruise, the first punch, the first twist of the arm we are free to resonate our freedom to thrive and leave behind those scenarios that do not resonate as true to our soul calling. As part of a journey, pain does not define you. It may have been present, but now you know you deserve more than that, run free. A life void of drama is freeing, empowering moving you outside of your comfort zone. Constructive ways to overcome panic and fear, are paramount allowing you to be open to the universe.
Do not close down mentally or physically. Feel the essence of your intentions. Act strong and solid on your passions rising from self love and self respect.
Fill yourself with calm and peace, breathing deeply, performing stretch exercises, high impact aerobics, hot yoga, swimming and various endurance series push your limits. Explore diverse parts of life, social, interactions engaging entrepreneurial pursuits to drive growth and new beginnings, allowing you to emerge fresh, renewed, restored, enlightened.
Out of emptiness come out of the box a one of a kind unique being allowing in moments to dance, to exercise, to listen to music, to surround yourself with young children and lightness. Never forget the power of caring for others and to love. To experience mindful healing, open your heart and mind to thoughts we may have closed to in the past.
Accept from society that which was good and leave the rest behind. In states of chaotic disarray, find ways to bend rigid schedule, find time to love, to be together, and to thrive as an individual.
Feel and breath your uniqueness.
A bit of me…
Escapes into spaces of time Amidst stained glass
I light candles, one after one In a row, an alignment Signifying people
I pray for miracles Calling upon spirits
Flickers of light
To brighten our path
Turning, I write As if for strength For duplication Words
Documented as if
To call upon ancient souls To answer my calling
I depart this sanctuary Oil moistens my brow Solitude my way
Once bound to negativity, terror, and pain I have come far to dream big and soar above previously imposed limitations of oppression. Miracles happen if the path is open to light. Suc- cess and confidence come with a clear vision of what I was try- ing to accomplish. I strengthened my inner core, I improved myself daily with words, with actions, with time. And with love to my children which translated to value for all of our lives. I vowed to forget excuses. As I climbed up, I sought to never avoid scary things. With an opportunity to grow, I took on challenges—another lesson for my children—and made strides that only years before would have seemed impossible. I
shielded out the opinions of others and never sought comparisons. I found joy in small accomplishments. I learned to never judge others, to always be compassionate in observing the sit- uation of another individual and society.
To invest in lives of others, it is about making change for the better. Others are immensely benefitted by little things— care, love, compassion. For attorneys who have no personal ex- perience of trauma and violence within the family, my story provides a real-life story complete with factual evidence. Continued patterns of violence, harassment, and abuse eat at the soul and psyche of a child and of the family unit. Effects of long term abuse may be clear immediately or effects may wait to emerge later. Cries for help and maladaptive patterns of a child may be seen by an untrained professional as truant behavior. We may inadvertently punish a child when in fact the cause and effect of damage was initiated by a violent and abusive par- ent or other party.
Herein, we provide insight into the other side of the precedent dictating the case law for domestic abuse cases: Parental Alienation Syndrome. We call on you to think, to read, and to study the stories of others. Each story is important and all words have credibility. We advocate for a system of justice, where facts, however emotional, are embraced, where any and all documentation is memorialized, where violence is mini- mized, and ownership of children and adults as a form of abuse and manipulation is eliminated.
For the health care professional, we provide a stepping- stone methodology to assist in the development of a sophisti- cated Plan of Action. A disciplined plan to build focus and
clarity will aid in healing an affected child and family in emer- gent need of support as they move from a troubled cycle of vi- olence and reactive mentality into a pattern of healing. It is crucial for the child within a troubled family unit, having been affected by drama and harassment, to maintain a sense of self and stability while going through traumatic scenarios. The technique of “Tunnel Vision” will assist in establishing, both mentally and practically, a forward flow from effects of abuse and violence. The urgency of this plan of action cannot be overemphasized. The time for action is Now.
Further, the story provides a creative way for each individual affected by abuse and trauma to put an end to the “pud- dles of pity.” It involves a decision to love self enough, and to sufficiently want for healing, to make a decision to throw away the emotional violin and move forward positively. From painful and destructive experiences, we share the tragic harm that violence and trauma produce, long-term, on the isolated child and family unit.
We share the discipline, patience, and creativity necessary to turn a negative and destructive pattern of activity into a positive forward-moving pattern of establish- ing goals and dreams. Without this forward flow and without careful and consistent intervention, children and adults may become injured psychologically and immobilized physically for the long-term, causing irreversible pain and destruction to the individual and the family unit.
Can It Be Heard?
Moments go by, echoing empty words… demanding I stay away…
“Never call again.” I cry
In confusion…I sit alone…now Disturbed…
I feel for infant children born of an unlikely union… Angels, my precious boys, once close at hand… Strange, now so quiet, they are removed from my breast as if by some wicked design, a twist of fate…
Others turn their backs…frustrated, they do not know Unable to feel loss, ambivalent of painful suffering
Or so it feels…at the moment.
Memories of times gone by…
Softness, laughter, kisses, squeals.
Priceless moments unfold for me as in a dream… my mind provides solace
to maintain inner strength
beautiful beings…born to me, The greatest of miracles,
Angels bound to my breast…. Nurtured life into their bodies…
Fate charts a wicked course filled with life lessons… Commitments broken, abuse dropped for fear of retaliation Courts, unknowing, see inconsistencies, vote calm demeanor rationalizing and settling cases…with no idea of merit rational courts do not dictate an infant’s future
as three small children taken from a mother’s presence
Into the arms of abuse, into harm’s way,
Into ownership, a horrific outcome
children injured…who will pay the damage cost? Imprisoned …their souls are affected
their eyes, their actions, spell out pain.
Judge total disregard for fact, He, crippled by his own pain… the system failed our children disregard for the truth…
Ominous signs spell out significant damage
to a child…time will tell the magnitude confused, I watch the process unfold…. Claiming to be the “babysitter” at any juncture Instructed to have “his children” home lest the Police would be called…
I acted to model a lifetime of purpose,
Though there was no justice to correct the fact That my sons have been taken…
An unnatural, poor decision…
A judicial system
demands substantial change in circumstance from someone who gave away all so that the boys would be brought back to me.
All of them ripped away…
I signed over the house….why Believing I would get some justice To see or be with my children.
Court-appointed plans did not allow for nurturing to small children… with the villain at the helm
“I own you, not your mommy.” Do not love her lest you be
Locked outside the house.
So I ask,
Years later, now that battles have been waged Quietly yet instinctively,
Who is there to make the final judgment?
Mental ills afflict small children, second to abuse We see this revealed in the eyes, the gestures, a look Significant enough to reveal great pain.
Lifetimes of injustice…
Justices are honored yet not in this instance Shall they be revered…as all shall acknowledge The time lost, the injustice suffered,
Righteous by means of law and order,
child ownership is given to an abuser. Children sleep alone, not allowed to love
secrets remain unspoken,
Time passes, we adapt somehow
I pay lest I go to jail, I carefully oblige
I continue to pay despite the fact the boys Are now almost twenty-one and over, Lest I am told I cannot see my boys.
And so somehow I stay there,
At the house I once signed away
Strategizing to see my sons, knowing full well He controls their emotions, still.
Entangled yet, I am strengthened by this fury… unspeakable truths have yielded my silent path. as courts sanction abuse,
I move to heal in whatever way possible
Relentless, I pray,
Though to step aside and move on would have been much safer, for sure
self-defeated from destructive comments, lack of self-esteem, I mount a silent attack benefiting my son, who cries out,
“Mom, fight for me.”
Somewhere within my spirit awoke… numbness has been undressed by the light. my son’s cries for help…urgent, continuous pleadings
Endlessly I seek justice of some order Unstoppable, climbing higher, Instinctively as never before,
light from within directs my course tunnel vision, I find some peace
Children are not owned… Inequity is not the norm…
Abuse of spirit, mind and soul… Threats of power and retaliation… Talk of insubordination…
Are to be halted, Lest they destroy…
I cast doubt upon precedent
That seeks to sanction taking babies from a mom, placed into harm’s way.
Gospel voices chant
disgust for what is injustice… no money, no defense offered to mount an attack.
hurt is magnified,
injury to souls ensured.
I see clearly…
… is unable to read the alphabet,
…. troubled and expelled,
traumatic injuries are caused by abuse court decisions made in haste
no reasonable answer given
Someone is to be locked outside Should they claim to love Mommy… I own you, remember…
Not your mommy…
hauled into court for insufficient payment of child support, though I had already signed over the house with threats of tak- ing my sons to Malta.
he then attempted to put me in jail for insufficient payments to him
I feel, to attempt to stop me from loving my sons.
This was not going to happen…
I could easily do five hundred hours of community service To satisfy the needs of the judge…
Thanks to my attorney,
I could be there for my sons…
“Mom, fight for me… Do not stop…fight for me.” I will, my son, I will…
Creative intervention must precede financial and emotional destruction. We caution those individuals mired in crisis mode to employ “more thought, less emotion, before action.” We advocate for more creativity toward a pattern of “Tunnel Vision” to direct forward positive action. The court advocates for “Substantial Change in Circumstance” in the midst of the most emotional of circumstances. To “win” and to be healthy, a consistent focus on health and healing will fuel a more peace- ful and profitable outcome for all! Overall, one must have love for self before anything is possible.
“Be of love, much more careful than anything.”
Within jails and prisons, one can imagine countless cases of injured, misunderstood individuals whose needs went unan- swered, where inadequate intervention was provided by society. Perhaps those in society who cause the most destruction are, ironically, those who may have been injured the most. Once incarcerated, put away in cement cells, the treatment of choice—no kindness or respect allowed—nurtures the negativity that has surrounded the criminal. Gangs love and nurture violence. We are too late.
The juvenile court and the school system are visions of societal violence. Such violence, caused by the early effects of abuse, neglect, and trauma must be eradicated. At the least, the individuals affected need to be properly identified and cared for if we are to have a healthy society. Treating the effects of violence post-injury and post-abuse may be our only way of nur- turing and healing. If this is all we have to give, we must give all. The approach of “Tunnel Vision” as a way to assist souls in need of a better way is far better than no intervention at all.
Children do not ask to be maltreated; they grow to do as they see. We live surrounded by societal stress which will un- fortunately not change in the near term. We strive to find so- lutions as best we can; we care for and we heal others as best we can. “Tunnel Vision” is our solution to horrible problems including abuse, neglect, hostile harassment, and long term in- dividual suffering. “Tunnel Vision” works miracles. We know. We must forever keep on, “Tunnel Vision”- Style, dedicated to a more peaceful society for all. No abuse of any kind is right. Empowerment, nurturing, and love for all individuals will en- sure a more productive and creative society. Think, act, and live, “Tunnel Vision.”
It is crucial moving forward to identify those children and families negatively affected by the trauma of violence as quickly as possible. The degree to which long-term violence and trauma has occurred directly affects the chance for a nor- mal adult life without the critical intervention of “Tunnel Vi- sion.” The importance of educating professionals to acknowledge signs and symptoms of silent pain must be real- ized. This book speaks to the importance of being open and accepting of all forms of silver linings as they come, of listening for hourly and daily cues. Daily hope for and achievement of progress from slow and consistent forward movement toward the eradication of personal destruction is the ultimate goal.
We have formulated a master plan to shield the individual affected by trauma by stepping in and providing “Tunnel Vision”-style focus, imagination, and coping mechanisms as well as personal nurturing skills to make a difference on a daily basis. This mechanism of focus, nurturing, and dedication to the self, will aid immensely in the ability to move toward post- trauma and post-abuse. The past experience of daily violence and harassment witnessed and experienced does not simply disappear; it is part of the individual’s life tape, long-term. Utilizing “Tunnel Vision,” individuals will embrace this disciplined and focused methodology; they will think, breathe, and speak a fresh and life-invigorating pattern of behavior. They will survive and thrive.
For the individual looking to clarify, find focus and meaning, and simplify the complexity of a life post-stress and post-violence; for the professional counselor seeking to assist a child and family who seem lost and perhaps caught within a
violent abusive atmosphere or in the memories of their expe- riences; and for the attorney and court system who seek to more fully understand the plight of the individual and explore further the psychology behind domination and violence cycles, a “Tunnel Vision” approach takes you beyond the study of the illness of manipulation and violence to a place that encourages strength of character and commitment to personal growth and miracle fulfillment. The ultimate goal for each individual is a full recovery of body, mind, and spirit, which includes healthy living and healing both physically and mentally. Life is a gift not to be destroyed and not to lack in meaning and self-fulfill- ment.
The experience of “Tunnel Vision” is unique and hon- estly personal. The story behind “Tunnel Vision” is an emo- tional and moving true story of pain and vulnerability. We are moved to question how manipulation, violence, and abuse were allowed to overcome our ability to control a peaceful out- come. We must look deeply within our own psyche and back- ground to see why, or on what basis, we adults allowed violence to happen. Children are innocent victims. The cycle of vio- lence, if allowed to continue, will perpetuate itself again and again and again. My youngest son taught me best: “Mom, sim- ply stop talking.” Is that all it would have taken to have lived without the violence?
The story “Tunnel Vision” concludes with a detailed ac- counting and road map of one individual’s journey from vio- lence to the creation of a healthy and prosperous future. Miracles and dreams are achieved for those who seek to dream, for those who are determined to shut out the noise, for those who learn how to focus, simplify, and clarify life.
Join us in the creativity that “Tunnel Vision” brings; it is truly amazing for all who embrace the concept and are deter- mined to live life fully. Say what you really want and go for it! Embrace your dreams with a desire and passion that shuts out all questions and negativity. Never stop. As my eldest son says, “Mom, you are not trying hard enough; try harder.” We ask you to try harder. Live fully and enjoy every moment in peace. We welcome you and invite you to heal, to dream, and to create miracles! Quietly maintain energy, health, and focus to enrich yourself and those around you with positive change. Success is realized, the achievement of passion and dreams unimaginable from my amazing family! We now strive to make
a difference sharing this story with you.
What is most uncomfortable… Accept it completely.
Allow the feeling To overcome You.
Do not fear this Nor be afraid.
Rain or Shine. Learn to
Give love Always.
Though Youmust Accept sorrow Completely…
For in this
Will understand. You
Trust in this. I know
For this…feel… Unique…
Give all you have to give and more.
You will win
At life…and more.
Not at differences But at ways to create Similarities.
Don’t go changing From what makes you Unique
All the best…